Breakthrough

A Brilliant Artist Who Prefers To Remain Anonymous
wrote this account of standstill, perseverance
and breakthrough to right action:


The other night, in the studio,
I looked at this painting I'd been preserving
--it had been a beautiful, almost flawless start--
with some pesky mistakes that brought it down.

I worked to cover the mistakes,
but it just looked like paint covering a mistake.

The situation became clear: I was hedging
and the show wasn't going to come off.
It felt utterly wretched.

I asked myself, "are you serious about painting?
or is this just about you finishing a show?
Are you going to risk, for the sake of painting, or not?"

And reader, I threw down the disintegrating mixture
that breaks the surface of water,
laid some BLACK paint all over the thing,
and it looked awful and contrived, but I kept working
--desperately fighting for it, honestly critical, not settling--

and if it dries well, I think I got what I wanted,
the Miami Beach shoreline at night underneath a teeming sky.